Chase has been having much much better days but now tonight he struggled so much, he had a major tantrum at the bounce houses after the rodeo parade and he has been in his room almost all day everyday for days. He is noticeably clearer in his speech and expression but he struggles with some of the most common place things. I have thought so many times over the past few weeks, "is he happier, or more confused or what?" I ask, myself constantly, is this good for him? I just don't know yet, but when will I. Will he continue to get worse before he gets more improvement? Are these more frequent displays of temper because of him having more clarity but not enough to express himself clearly?
I have so many questions....
I wonder if I am just making him miserable trying to make him better?
I have tried so hard to make him better that I have removed his safety net of oblivion?
His room is so inadequate for him to retreat to, it just breaks my heart, he needs more room, the right type of toys and sheets he can't tear off. ;)
I adore Chase I love him so much that it hurts, he is amazing and loving and can brighten the world.
I wish I knew what God sees in me to think that I was up to this challenge, but I trust and all will be well. We are never given more than we can handle.
1 comment:
((((hugs))))
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